hey, wow, its been another dry spell from blogging, which is disappointing but i've been really busy with uni and stuff.
so, a little update, i have now slept with 4 guys. The 4th was on a uni trip at the snow, the sex was average and he ignored me the whole next day, which was disapointing. i kinda like this guy and was hoping to get something out of it, well more that sex. but he wasnt interested in me that way, probably because of my dismal performance in the bed room....well, actualy it wasnt that bad. it turns out i give great head, which he really enjoyed. He went down on me but it wasnt so good. i guess i wasnt realy comfortable enough. i have an intense fear of losing my underwear and stuff. and i wasnt super comfortable in the situation so i couldnt realy relax into what he was doing and enjoy and possible orgasm (which still hasnt happened). so yeah, no good really. he did make me brekkie the next morning and walked me to my lodge but after that, he barely said two words. oh well.
so the next night spent some 'alone time' with a different guy. we were drinking beer and sharing a chair and he suggested we go back to the lodge, so i agreed cos i was drunk and enjoyed the attention. so we went back into his room, light went off and so did his pants.
i gave him head and again, got some positive feedback. i decided not to fuck him, cos i made that mistake already. I was teasing him and stuff and he came twice on my tits, which i love and he called me a dirty girl, which wa cool too. im realy into that sort of thing, a bit of submission and stuff. i wouldnt be tied up or whipped or anything. just someone being demanding and asking for what they want. mmm, so he kinda ignored me too. i tried to discuss with him about whether or not he would ignore the next day but it was a silly thing to talk about and should have kept it to myself.
so i kinda want to be mates with this guy...but i dont think he wants to be friends.
ive been thinking about what it takes to be someone's friend and how you get to the status of being friends. so, im kinda working on making friends with ppl and see how it all works. sounds like a dorky thing to do, but i would really like more friends.
oh yeah, my best friend told me about her 'terrible' sex. foreplay lasted 3 hours and sex lasted for an hour! all i get is three pumps and a squirt! and she orgasmed and said it was terrible. i was kinda jealous of her at that point for being able to orgasm and i cant. but she is a little more promiscuis than me, which is something i dont want to change.
i think one one-night-stand is enough, and now im going to work on building relationships, not just having sex. i want to save the most inimate parts of myself for my husband. Things like orgasms and being totally naked. When im with a guy im never totally naked, i always have something on, so i can quickly cover myself if i need to or something.
thats really all i have to say.
Leave a comment if you get the chance :)
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
update
hey, i havent written in ages because i have been busy with uni and work and studying and stuff like that.
i was with a guy for about 2 months but it didnt go anywhere because he was only using me for sex and the sex was really terrible. i gave him good head tho. he really liked it. turns out im pretty good at it, which is a plus. too bad i couldnt say the same about him because he didnt go near my cunt with his tongue, which is disappointing.
he was 25 and so thats a bit older than me so it was never going to work.
i had two exams today and they were really hard. i didnt know a lot of the answers. there was a drug calculations one and there wasnt realy enough time. you had to answer 40 questions in 30 mins really. it was hard. some ppl didnt finish.
i have to work tomorrow, im not realy looking forward to it because the baker is realy weird and says stuff like "oh do you have a nurses outfit?" and stuff, its basically sexualy harrassment but what can you do? the manager knows and told him to take it easy but he doesnt really get it.
im kinda horny but i dont want a one night stand.
i wanna go out drinking with the girls but i dont have anyone to go with, which is a little depressing. dunno what to do about that.
i spoke to my ex today. he is such an arsehole. i really dont like him. i look at him and my stomach gets all weird, i seriously feel physically ill when i look at him. i spoke today tho, weird.
thats really all i have to say....
i was with a guy for about 2 months but it didnt go anywhere because he was only using me for sex and the sex was really terrible. i gave him good head tho. he really liked it. turns out im pretty good at it, which is a plus. too bad i couldnt say the same about him because he didnt go near my cunt with his tongue, which is disappointing.
he was 25 and so thats a bit older than me so it was never going to work.
i had two exams today and they were really hard. i didnt know a lot of the answers. there was a drug calculations one and there wasnt realy enough time. you had to answer 40 questions in 30 mins really. it was hard. some ppl didnt finish.
i have to work tomorrow, im not realy looking forward to it because the baker is realy weird and says stuff like "oh do you have a nurses outfit?" and stuff, its basically sexualy harrassment but what can you do? the manager knows and told him to take it easy but he doesnt really get it.
im kinda horny but i dont want a one night stand.
i wanna go out drinking with the girls but i dont have anyone to go with, which is a little depressing. dunno what to do about that.
i spoke to my ex today. he is such an arsehole. i really dont like him. i look at him and my stomach gets all weird, i seriously feel physically ill when i look at him. i spoke today tho, weird.
thats really all i have to say....
Thursday, February 15, 2007
need some action!!
im getting ansty. i need some action. some postive male attention. i want to be desired, admired and longed after.
im off to do some shopping
ttfn
im off to do some shopping
ttfn
grrr
some ppl are soo hard headed and set in their ways that they cant accept or receive new ideas from ppl even if the ideas are right and they are wrong.
boys are cute and i like them.
rain is awesome and it rained heaps today, so i did the immature thing and stood in the rain in a pink dress that went see-through. it was heaps of fun and somthing i havent done in a long time (stupid drought!)
so yeah, i dont think i will pursue lesbian encounters anymore...boys are better and there are few cuties around atm....at work and stuff, i dont think anything will happen, but there is nothing wrong with wishful thinking! lol
there is a guy at work who is nice and says hi, but i wont be working for a while so i wont get to see him...i just want to have a random getting with, i couldnt handle a relationship atm, too fried and stuffed from the last one and uni is going to be full on this year! wish me luck! lol.
at the CPR course i did tonight i happened to know more than most of the ppl there and some stuff the teacher didnt know cos im a nursing student, and it was frustrating to have to keep my mouth shut when i knew the answers. i hate doing that, especially when i know im right!
i love being right and knowing the answers. i have a good memory too so that helps. some ppl suffer a bit from tall poppy syndrome and are intimidated by my good marks, easy understanding and dedication to stufff. i cant help but work hard. i only have two settings off and on, no in between of 'yeah, ill just plod along and get mediocre grades'. i have to be getting A's or nothing. it can be frustrating.
last semester at uni i went to every lecture. i think i missed like 3 for the whole semester and i was really proud of that, i ended up get 92% for one of the subjects.
anyway, my arms and hands are cramping up from typing so fast....hope you all are well. leave a comment please.
xxoo
boys are cute and i like them.
rain is awesome and it rained heaps today, so i did the immature thing and stood in the rain in a pink dress that went see-through. it was heaps of fun and somthing i havent done in a long time (stupid drought!)
so yeah, i dont think i will pursue lesbian encounters anymore...boys are better and there are few cuties around atm....at work and stuff, i dont think anything will happen, but there is nothing wrong with wishful thinking! lol
there is a guy at work who is nice and says hi, but i wont be working for a while so i wont get to see him...i just want to have a random getting with, i couldnt handle a relationship atm, too fried and stuffed from the last one and uni is going to be full on this year! wish me luck! lol.
at the CPR course i did tonight i happened to know more than most of the ppl there and some stuff the teacher didnt know cos im a nursing student, and it was frustrating to have to keep my mouth shut when i knew the answers. i hate doing that, especially when i know im right!
i love being right and knowing the answers. i have a good memory too so that helps. some ppl suffer a bit from tall poppy syndrome and are intimidated by my good marks, easy understanding and dedication to stufff. i cant help but work hard. i only have two settings off and on, no in between of 'yeah, ill just plod along and get mediocre grades'. i have to be getting A's or nothing. it can be frustrating.
last semester at uni i went to every lecture. i think i missed like 3 for the whole semester and i was really proud of that, i ended up get 92% for one of the subjects.
anyway, my arms and hands are cramping up from typing so fast....hope you all are well. leave a comment please.
xxoo
Monday, February 12, 2007
peace
hey, hows it going?
im pretty good. i feel really peaceful about going back to uni and seeing my ex. im ready, im over him, im confident within my own skin and im ready to take on the world. its a good feeling. it came after i read a book about four girls who were going through a situation similar to mine and so it was good therapy in a way, reading about how they got through it all.
it took me a long tiime to get over my ex, cos he was my first i guess. we werent together very long but it hurt when we broke up. he was a bit weak and didnt do the breaking, i did, which was tough.
ive found new confidence to trust myself and i dont need others to validate how i feel and make me feel worthy, which has taken a long time to develop. i've also had to work through being confident enough to stand up for what i believe in even if im the only one who feels that way. you know what i mean?
anyway, i feel pretty good about quite a few things. the photos i got done tho didnt turn out the way i wanted and i was disappointed about that i nearly cried, but i held that in and told the photographer i didnt like his pictures, which was a good feeling. i could tell him exactly how i felt without worrying about his feelings, its his job to expect critisism and disappointment.
im not sure where i will go to get the photo i want. i think my dad is going to do it....im a bit iffy...anyway. more important things to worry about.
xxoo
im pretty good. i feel really peaceful about going back to uni and seeing my ex. im ready, im over him, im confident within my own skin and im ready to take on the world. its a good feeling. it came after i read a book about four girls who were going through a situation similar to mine and so it was good therapy in a way, reading about how they got through it all.
it took me a long tiime to get over my ex, cos he was my first i guess. we werent together very long but it hurt when we broke up. he was a bit weak and didnt do the breaking, i did, which was tough.
ive found new confidence to trust myself and i dont need others to validate how i feel and make me feel worthy, which has taken a long time to develop. i've also had to work through being confident enough to stand up for what i believe in even if im the only one who feels that way. you know what i mean?
anyway, i feel pretty good about quite a few things. the photos i got done tho didnt turn out the way i wanted and i was disappointed about that i nearly cried, but i held that in and told the photographer i didnt like his pictures, which was a good feeling. i could tell him exactly how i felt without worrying about his feelings, its his job to expect critisism and disappointment.
im not sure where i will go to get the photo i want. i think my dad is going to do it....im a bit iffy...anyway. more important things to worry about.
xxoo
Thursday, February 8, 2007
am i a bad person?
last night all i dreamt about was sex...very strange to wake up and remember what happened....
also, i ordered a copy of sex for one from amazon and its coming in 4-6 weeks, 8 at the most. im kinda excited and kinda not. i think that it was not such a good idea. what am i going to say when my mum wants to know what i bought? i bourght another book to put in its place when it arrives...is that bad of me?
i bought some little white pots the other day and i yesterday i got some flowers for them. hopefully they live! lol. also pretty and pink is my vibrator.
i still feel bad about ordering the sex book. i guess ill have to worry about that when it comes in the mail. i also get fear of flying, which should be good.
am i spending too much time thinking about sex and me and masturbation? is this bad or wrong? im a little confused. i want to be happy with myself but im not sure if this is the right thing to be doing......
i joined my local fire brigade the other week and last night we had training and i got to ride in the back of the truck and skirt the hose. it was heaps of fun! and i got all new gear like a helmut and bright yellow overalls. should be lots of fun and the ppl are good too.
ok thats all for now. im going to exercise or read or something.
hope you all are warm and happy.
oh, im going out tonight cos one of my close friends is moving to china and its her last night out on the town...hopefully it is good :) ill let you know...
xoo
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
all about my toy
aloha fellow bloggers!!
where do i start? i have used my pink vibrator about 4 or 5 times since i bought it, which is like once a day! i particularly like using it in the shower, i specifically got one that was waterproof, didnt want to get hurt lol. so yeah, i have worked out the settings and mostly just use the vibrating clit tickler cos the moving penis bit (is that what is called?) doesnt do much for me. im still working out what feels good.
in the shower i hold the vibe between my legs with the back of the dolphin shaped clit tickler pressed against my clit obviously. that feels good and i can wash my hair at the same time! nice! ive used it in bed a couple of times, when im home alone. it feels really good, but i feel like i dont know how to orgasm. i feel like all theis energy is building up and i dont know what to do with it or how to release it, so i stop. i cant go for very long, only about 10 mins. i kinda get bored sometimes and other times i feel like ive reached my limit. i guess it just takes practice and time and learning what feels good.
ill keep at it and maybe one day i will cum. heres hoping!
i was thinking of getting the book sex for one by betty dobson (i think thats her name), maybe that will help. any ideas?
ill keep trying and let you know how it goes....maybe ill put a pic of it on here....
night! xxoo
where do i start? i have used my pink vibrator about 4 or 5 times since i bought it, which is like once a day! i particularly like using it in the shower, i specifically got one that was waterproof, didnt want to get hurt lol. so yeah, i have worked out the settings and mostly just use the vibrating clit tickler cos the moving penis bit (is that what is called?) doesnt do much for me. im still working out what feels good.
in the shower i hold the vibe between my legs with the back of the dolphin shaped clit tickler pressed against my clit obviously. that feels good and i can wash my hair at the same time! nice! ive used it in bed a couple of times, when im home alone. it feels really good, but i feel like i dont know how to orgasm. i feel like all theis energy is building up and i dont know what to do with it or how to release it, so i stop. i cant go for very long, only about 10 mins. i kinda get bored sometimes and other times i feel like ive reached my limit. i guess it just takes practice and time and learning what feels good.
ill keep at it and maybe one day i will cum. heres hoping!
i was thinking of getting the book sex for one by betty dobson (i think thats her name), maybe that will help. any ideas?
ill keep trying and let you know how it goes....maybe ill put a pic of it on here....
night! xxoo
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