still learning....

hey, wow, its been another dry spell from blogging, which is disappointing but i've been really busy with uni and stuff.
so, a little update, i have now slept with 4 guys. The 4th was on a uni trip at the snow, the sex was average and he ignored me the whole next day, which was disapointing. i kinda like this guy and was hoping to get something out of it, well more that sex. but he wasnt interested in me that way, probably because of my dismal performance in the bed room....well, actualy it wasnt that bad. it turns out i give great head, which he really enjoyed. He went down on me but it wasnt so good. i guess i wasnt realy comfortable enough. i have an intense fear of losing my underwear and stuff. and i wasnt super comfortable in the situation so i couldnt realy relax into what he was doing and enjoy and possible orgasm (which still hasnt happened). so yeah, no good really. he did make me brekkie the next morning and walked me to my lodge but after that, he barely said two words. oh well.
so the next night spent some 'alone time' with a different guy. we were drinking beer and sharing a chair and he suggested we go back to the lodge, so i agreed cos i was drunk and enjoyed the attention. so we went back into his room, light went off and so did his pants.
i gave him head and again, got some positive feedback. i decided not to fuck him, cos i made that mistake already. I was teasing him and stuff and he came twice on my tits, which i love and he called me a dirty girl, which wa cool too. im realy into that sort of thing, a bit of submission and stuff. i wouldnt be tied up or whipped or anything. just someone being demanding and asking for what they want. mmm, so he kinda ignored me too. i tried to discuss with him about whether or not he would ignore the next day but it was a silly thing to talk about and should have kept it to myself.
so i kinda want to be mates with this guy...but i dont think he wants to be friends.
ive been thinking about what it takes to be someone's friend and how you get to the status of being friends. so, im kinda working on making friends with ppl and see how it all works. sounds like a dorky thing to do, but i would really like more friends.

oh yeah, my best friend told me about her 'terrible' sex. foreplay lasted 3 hours and sex lasted for an hour! all i get is three pumps and a squirt! and she orgasmed and said it was terrible. i was kinda jealous of her at that point for being able to orgasm and i cant. but she is a little more promiscuis than me, which is something i dont want to change.

i think one one-night-stand is enough, and now im going to work on building relationships, not just having sex. i want to save the most inimate parts of myself for my husband. Things like orgasms and being totally naked. When im with a guy im never totally naked, i always have something on, so i can quickly cover myself if i need to or something.

thats really all i have to say.

Leave a comment if you get the chance :)