the first...of many things

the other night i had my first real lesbian experience. it was good but i still cant get over the feeling over a hardened cock rubbing against my tingling clit, nothing beats that. she was sweet, great body, not too bad at kissing, ive had better. she smokes, so it wasnt the best. she seems quite young and innocent, or so it seemed. it was an eye opening experience. i havent fingered someone else b4. i had it done to me and i know what it feels like to do it to myself, but not on someone else. its quite tricky. because she is writhing around and moaning and clearly enjoying it but i dont know where it feels good or if she likes it a different way...i guess i just found out what it feels like to be a guy lol. she was quite obliging when i asked her to do stuff. i lay her down on the bed upstairs and shut the door, i slid my hand down her tight jeans, after undoing the fly and button. they were very tight, and shaped her arse beautifully, but it made it difficult to access her wet pussy. i told her to take her jeans off and she did. she apologised for not shaving her cunt, but i didnt mind and i told her so. ive kissed girls b4 and ive talked about being with other chicks with my ex. it got him off and i kinda enjoyed the thrill of talking baout something so dirty. i like kinky dirty things. i like being bossy and demanding. i love the urgency in my partners voice when i deny them something, or tease them.
one time, out the front of my house, i was with my ex-bf and we were kissing and stuff. he wanted to finger me and i was really wet. i didnt let him. he was soooo hard and he begged me to grab his cock, i must have reacted too slow cos he grabbed my hand and shoved it down his pants and around his throbbing cock. i loved being with him. he was very good at what he did but i freak out when i feel a bit out of control, so sometimes i would bring our 'sessions' to a grinding halt when i felt scared.
anyway, i finger fucked this girl. my hand kinda hurt so pulled it out so i swap and she begged my to keep going "please dont stop" she moaned. she was breathing quickly and was almost squealing with delight. i felt kinda powerful. i like that feeling too. when you brush your hand across some guys cock and you hear him inhale sharply. i love that power. i love teasing. i love it when he went down on me. it was sooo good. he fingered my for ages. pumping in and out. i knew i was getting closer to orgasm because my hands had pins and needles. then my neck and ears began to tingle too. then the tingling pins and needles feeling spread across my stomach and i freaked out. i couldnt handle it. i felt out of control and i didnt like it. so i asked him to stop and he did after he threatened to keep going. he was determined to get me off but i couldnt relax and enjoy it.
im not sure how i feel about girls. i would never right off guys as potentials. i dont think i could be a complete lesbian and have no male contact. i love the power they have over me. in a second they could take what they want purely because of the muscle strength they possess. i enjoyed my time with the girl, but i didnt get off. i like thinking baout it but not acting on it. im not sure if it will happen again. maybe....we'll see i guess. i think maybe she wants to. and i guess i could do it again...i would rather get laid....but im not sure about that either. im psyching myself up to see my ex-bf in three weeks at uni. i havent seen him since b4 christmas so it will be interesting to have the same lects as him again...i wonder if he will come back to uni...anyway, thats another kettle of fish. i lost my virginity to him and he didnt love me at the time. he said he didnt. but then he grew to love me, and i kinda slowly stopped loving him...then he stopped loving me and we broke up. he wasnt man enough to stand up and say how he felt. so i kinda did the breaking up and that hurt. i really liked him and i wanted it to work but i guess it wasnt meant to be. i knew he would be my first after seeing him at uni for a while. there arent many guys in my course, so he wasnt hard to spot. after watching him for a while i felt confident that he would be my first. then he started talking to me, we had a few tuts together. then we decided to have coffee one night after class. he walked me to my car a couple of times. so we had coffee and sat and talked for ages, then as he went to leave we kissed and it was a really good kiss. i havent had many good ones like that. so yeah, we hung out a bit. i msged him to see if he wanted to catch up that weekend and he was going to a party and invited me along. i agreed and off we went. i was meant to drive home after we got back to his place but we went to bed and i didnt end up leaving til 7 the next morning. i managed to stay awake for 26 hours! quite an effort. i saw him at uni and a week later we were official. it lasted about 2 months in total b4 he decided he didnt like me anymore. i was pretty upset and cried my eyes out in mcdonalds while i waited for my mum to pick me up. we broke up on the way home from a footy match, so i got him to drop me off at maccas so i didnt have to stay in the car any longer than i had to.
so yeah, good to get all that off my chest.
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